The Positive Effects of Fist Fights

The Positive Effects of Fist Fights

Much like the debate over the BCS and whether there should be a playoff system at the end of the season or a “plus one,” etc., the question about whether fighting should be allowed in the National Hockey League gets recycled and rehashed every single year. And every single year, the arguments are the same:

Pro: A) Fighting is part of the game. B) It happens rarely, and when it does, it’s consensual, and C) it gets viewer ratings.

Con: A) Fighting is archaic, gruesome, and B) adds nothing to the game. C) Real hockey fans don’t watch hockey for fights, they watch it for the hockey. D) Above all, it’s dangerous both for the players involved as well as E) children who might be influenced by the violence they see on television.

All valid points and worthy of some consideration, but if you are to make a decision based on those points alone, you might be left stuck in the middle (as we have been for the past several years). Perhaps the following opinion (mine) on the matter will tip the scale in favor of fighting once and for all:

Fighting makes Hockey safer! Sounds like an oxy moron, I know. But just think – if the penalty for swiping someone’s knee with your stick were getting your nose busted by your opponent’s bare fist, you would probably think twice about swiping at someone’s knee, right? Wanna take a cheap shot at the opposing team’s best player? Well before you do, consider the fact that the opposing team also has an “Enforcer,” whose job is to punish those who take cheap shots at their best player with his concrete knuckles.

There is no question that chippiness between hockey teams is drastically decreased because of the unwritten penalties that are applied.

I would also like to see this unwritten rule be applied to the National Basketball Association. There is nothing more irritating and frustrating than the “flopping” that occurs on the court nowadays. In order to remedy this problem, I propose that a person who fakes an elbow to the face ought to receive an actual elbow to the face (after it has been determined through instant replay that he indeed faked the elbow to the face). The rule could also be instituted for teams that choose to employ the “Hack-a-Shaq” method. They can still hack Shaq, but with the caveat that whoever hacks Shaq will also be at the mercy of Shaq and his forty-pound fists. I’m certain that if Hockey’s tolerance of fighting were adopted in the NBA, flopping and spineless (albeit intelligent) fouling would decrease, if not cease completely, drastically improving the purity of the game.

And while we’re on the subject, it occurred to me that we ought to adopt this rule on California’s freeways as well. Who would dare cut someone off without so much as a blinker if they knew the person they cut off had the legal right to throw a right across the jaw?

I think the NHL is really on to something here…