Barack the Nation

I wrote this little note after watching Barack Obama's speech at the DNC. I sent it as an email to close friends and posted it on the Shanor family website to see if I couldn't open a can of worms the way Uncle Roger always does. Here's the note, and a few of the responses:


I don't know about the rest of you, but after tonight's speech at the DNC, I'm on board!

You know, I've been nervous about my brother-in-law heading over to Afghanistan to fly Black Hawks. Thank heavens Barack will repair our relationships with terrorists and dictators in the Middle East. Why fight al-Qaeda if you can laugh and play cards with al-Qaeda?

I've been working as long and hard as a man can work, and I just can't seem to get over the hump on those bills and loans. I can't wait for Barack to pick up the tab.

I've been worried about how to pay for the soon-to-be Bailey boy's college education. Well, worry no more! Barack will make it affordable!

I haven't been able to go to the beach as often as I'd like on the weekends because of high gas prices. But thanks to Barack, I'll be a professional surfer in no time! I don't have a board yet, but I'm sure Barack wouldn't mind finding one for me.

I haven't been able to eat as many sweets lately because I've got some sensitivity in one of my back molars. I would get it fixed, but even with dental insurance, I doubt we can afford it. But don't worry, sweet tooth. Barack will see to it that you get your fillings replaced for free!

FINALLY, a leader who will give us all health, peace, and prosperity!

Come unto Barack, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and he will give you rest. Take his yoke upon you, and learn of him, and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For his yoke is easy, and his burden is light.

Amen.

Doug,

I was working and missed the speech, but do you think Barack would be
willing to talk to this girl I dated during my last semester at Chapman.
Things didn't quite pan out for us, and we had some fundamental
differences in faith...but I was thinking that I don't really have to
work at finding a solid relationship if the government could crank one out
for me. Do you think?

Peace,
Billings

P.S. Let me know when the little one arrives and I'll cook dinner for you
and Frannie one night.

Brilliant...

Only you could summarize such a travesty with "on the money" sarcasm.

All Josh and I could do while watching was shake our heads in disgust and scream at the television set. Is it me or do Democrats just despise this country??? All I hear when they talk is how horrible life is and how everything is George Bush and Dick Cheney's fault! And if I have to hear the term "working Americans" one more time, I might lose it! I guess people that make over $80,000 just don't work that hard??? Yeah Barack, life is rough but no worries, the government will solve all our problems. I got news for him and every other liberal in this country... I don't want you to take care of me!!! We barley make ends meet as well but it's not their job to give me a wealthier life. I'll do that on my own! Oh yeah, and the only "whiners" I hear are people like Barack and his friends, crying about how terrible their lives are. So I say "enough" to you, Barack, Michelle, Joe, Hillary, Bill, Nancy, and co....

I'll take anyone other than that joke of a politician.

Marc

Vail

Some thoughts from various family members on our vacation to Vail. It was the first time we'd all been together for about five years (between school in different states to missions around the world, it's been tough to gather).

My favorites will be the hike we took the Booth Falls where I learned just how crazy Doug and Andy can be. Thankfully, no one was hurt. But next time, guys, no blazing of new trails. Jeff was smart enough to say "enough!" Just humor your old dad and let my heart beat a little longer. And Katlyn's prayer. I will always remember the sweet expression of gratitude for the vacation she enjoyed so much. Katlyn, I am so happy you had fun. It wasn't long enough, but it was sure great while it lasted. And our last evening together when we "owned" the park! Brian and Jennifer were real troopers, and so was Marc. Bad timing with bad stomachs, but you hung in there and made the best of it. Jackson's return to health blessed us all. I can't imagine Vail without "mean guy rocks" and "Spidey!" Frannie riding the bike around the park while B.J. Thomas sang "Raindrops keep falling on my head . . ." and Doug racing across the grass to gently knock her from that unsafe ride! I wish I had that on video. Little Henry III must have been laughing himself silly. "Look at my mom and dad!" The expressions on the faces of the hostesses and hosts when I told them "There are 20 of us for dinner." Yes, I said TWENTY! And I was proud of all you. Just being with everyone was such a joy for your mom and me. Sorry about golf, guys. Next time we'll make the tee time reservation upon arrival, or maybe even before we get there. Aubrey's hugs, Bri'e's smile, Kami's energy, Addison's joy, Colin's reaching for new things, Jeffrey's laughter as he passed me on the trail, Marc's home evening for the girls, Brian's lesson about Amulek and the things really matter, Andy's willingness to try everything and his conversation with Elizabeth, Katie's sunshine which always brightens my soul, Aaron's thoughtfulness in going with mom to look at the houses, 'Draya's devotion to her boys, including Jeff, Frannie making the sacrifice to come even though she had to have been miserable much of the time, Randalyn's helpfulness with EVERYTHING. And of course Mom's spirit, which makes everything happen the way it ought to, even when the dad is grumpy and tired. And especially to Heavenly Father who makes all things possible. We owe it all to Him - the beauty of Vail and the beauty of family. Love, dad

Hey Now,

I was anything but miserable in Vail! How could I have been? I was carted around like a queen for 3 days. I would've been miserable laying in my bed in LA missing Vail, but I was thrilled to be there with you all. Everything was great from the ride up w/ Aaron, Andy, and Doug to the smooth ride to DIA in Princess Buttercup. Sandy's ingenuity started Vail off right when she rigged the wheelchair with a bungee so I'd have a foot rest. I loved how everyone just relaxed and did their own thing, yet we still ended up all being together most of the time. I loved the crisp Vail mornings, indulging ourselves w/ ice cream whenever we felt like it, delicious dinners, seeing a show in the amphitheater, the Betty Ford gardens, playing w/ my adorable nieces and nephews, relaxing in the jet pool, being pushed around by my loving protective hubby (and nieces, sisters and Sandy), and of course I enjoyed the 60 second bike ride. The scenery, the rooms, the company, was
all the best 3 1/2 days I could've asked for. I'm SO happy I didn't miss it. Thanks again Sandy and Hank for making it happen! You were so generous. I loved every minute of it. I love our family, each and every one of you.

Love, Frannie

In case I don't get to see or talk to everyone before leaving tomorrow, I just wanted to write and say thank you so much for all your help over the last month. Partly because I'm so sick right now I can hardly talk. Really, I'm just so bad at verbalizing my feelings. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how difficult a time it's been for us. No, I could see the understanding in your eyes and feel your sympathy through the countless acts of kindness for my family. I was taught a great lesson throughout the course of this time. I need you all. Aaron has been a steady go-to guy for anything and everything that needs a quick remedy. Andy's brute strength helped get us through a difficult move in the face of so much stress and worry about Jackson. Katie's willingness to give up her entire day to go to our house and pack it up along with Aaron meant so much. Doug and Jackson became great buddies in Vail. Doug and even Frannie would entertain Jackson for hours at a time, mostly because they could see that Draya and I needed a break. I'm grateful for Marc's phone call and words of encouragement for Jackson and Randalyn's desire to cook us meals when we had too much going on. Brian has been dealing with illness in his own family, yet he was there bright and early the morning of our move and he helped the entire day with a smile on his face, always reliable. And for Mom and Dad. Dad steered the ship in all matters of importance while Jackson was sick. He wouldn't want me to tell you everything he did but he knows, and I hope he also knows I couldn't have done it without his help. And the same goes for Mom for taking care of the boys, rocking Colin at all hours of the night to give us a break, cooking, cleaning, folding laundry. She really is Supermom. I love you all so much. I hope you know you can always count on me when you're down. I hate goodbyes so let's just pretend we're going on a long vacation and we'll be back soon.

Love,
Jeff

Talking with mom and dad a couple of weeks before the vacation, I remember telling them that I had never been so excited for a vacation in all my life. And it didn't disappoint... Thank you so much mom and dad for making that week possible. And thanks to all members of the greatest family in the world, for the amazing times and memories. I'm so glad we got all those pictures taken of beautiful Vail and all of us together. There was a time when I really disliked taking pictures, but now I am so thankful for them.

I loved being with everybody last week and can't wait until the next time we all get together!

I love you all!

Marc

The Sky is Falling

This is an interesting article about the state of Independent Film. The outlook is pretty bleak, but there's some great advice at the end. And actually, the bleak state of affairs may do a lot to improve product. So it may not be a bad thing...

On Saturday in Los Angeles, Mark Gill declared provocatively, "Yes, The Sky Really Is Falling." Speaking at the L.A. Film Festival's Financing Conference, the CEO of The Film Department (and former President of Miramax Films) detailed a litany of challenges currently facing independent film, yet offered his audience a happy ending. His complete prepared remarks are included below.


Good morning.

Last week, an old friend who is a director called to catch up. It almost seemed as if he was seeking reassurance.

"You good?" he asked.

My answer was simple: "How good can I be? I work in independent film."

He laughed. And then he wondered aloud: "Do you think maybe Chicken Little was right--I mean, about independent film."

Leave it to a director to hope Chicken Little might be a cinephile.

And again, my answer was simple: "Yes, the sky really is falling."

The last thing I heard him say was "I have to go throw up now."

Unfortunately, he's not alone in that feeling these days.


I know I don't have to repeat all the ways that the independent film business is in trouble. But I'm going to do it anyway--because the accumulation of bad news is kind of awe- inspiring:

1: Picturehouse and Warner Independent have been shut down.

2: New Line's staff was cut by 90 percent, and the survivors were sent to hell...I mean...Burbank.

3: Paramount Vantage was folded into the mother ship (this one may not be all bad news, by the way, but it still scares the hell out of independent film people).

4: Sidney Kimmel shrunk his company in half.

5: ThinkFilm is being sued for not paying its advertising bills, even as the unions repeatedly close down their David O. Russell production with the prophetic title "Nailed" for failure to meet weekly payroll.

6: Another five companies are in serious financial peril. And those are only the ones I'm sure of.

7: The $18 billion that Wall Street poured into Hollywood over the past four years has slowed to a trickle, and shows no signs of being replaced at even remotely the same levels from any new source.

8: There's a glut of films: 5000 movies got made last year. Of those, 603 got released theatrically here. And there's not room in the market--as there used to be--for even 400 of those.

Maybe there's room for 300. So everything else just dies. Most of these pictures are pre- ordained flops from independent distributors who forgot that their odds would have been better if they'd converted their money into quarters and taken the all-night party bus to Vegas.

9: Advertising costs have radically outpaced inflation even as media delivery of audiences falls through the floor. So movie companies now enjoy the privilege of paying way more to be far less effective marketers.

10: Movies now routinely fight with really compelling leisure alternatives that nobody in the last great era of cinema--the 1970s--even imagined: from iPods to Xboxes to Tivos to You Tubes to the radically improved behemoth that is cable television.

11: The international marketplace may be growing dramatically, but all of that growth is eaten up by studio movies, a couple dozen top independent films, and burgeoning local language productions. Everything else we make in this country doesn't sell for less--as it has for the past 20-plus years. Now, most American independent films don't sell at all overseas. I've never seen more depressed people in my life than I did in Cannes last month. The phrase "worst market ever" could be heard from every corner. A lot of film market veterans were musing about never coming back. It's that bad out there.

12: One entertainment industry banker I know believes another 10 independent film financiers will exit the business in the next year. I think he's low.

And finally, just for bad luck:

13: The average cost of an independent film released theatrically in North America shot up dramatically last year (not as much perhaps as the 60% the MPAA reported for its member companies, but a lot nonetheless). And this of course makes it a hell of a lot harder to break even or squeak out a small return and stay in business.

Aside from that, everything's great.

We've heard "the sky is falling" in the movie business before--notably with the introduction of TV, home video and DVD. On all three occasions, the business survived. And DVDs arguably helped grow the worldwide movie-viewing habit considerably-- even as they threw off a ton of cash.

But this time, at least as it relates to independent film, the sky really is falling.

The marginally good news is it won't hit the ground everywhere. The strongest of the strong will survive and in fact prosper. But it will feel like we just survived a medieval plague. The carnage and the stench will be overwhelming.

Of course, it's fashionable to bitch in the independent film world. It's what we do. We brood. We wear black. We drink too much coffee, followed by too much alcohol. And we bemoan a future devoid of real culture, homogenized to death by unfeeling conglomerates, and increasingly determined by ADD-addled 14-year-olds with nothing but internet porn and Grand Theft Auto on the brain.

The Major Studios

Every now and then we get tempted to look over the fence to where the grass is greener. We're human. We can't help it. We see all that cash rolling into the major studio coffers, and we secretly covet it.

But it's not so easy for the big boys anymore either. The average cost of a major studio production is $70.8million, and the average marketing budget in North America alone is $35.9 million. In other words, there's an average of more than $100 million at risk every time they get up to bat. And if they're going to lose $75 million or more, they know it by 2 p.m. Los Angeles time on opening day.

As the press has chronicled ad nauseum, the major studios have been forced largely to embrace the world of the tentpole movie--the big budget spectacle that tries to be for everyone. In market research terms, they call it the four-quadrant film, meaning it appeals to all four demographic quadrants of moviegoers: men and women, over and under 25. In economic terms, this means a movie that invariably costs more than $100 million, and on occasion more than $300 million.

The amount of effort and cash devoted to these tentpoles--and the enormous rewards that follow when they work--has radically altered the focus of the big studios. And generally speaking, these films don't have to be great to work. They have to be just good enough. It's the last place in the movie business where the old habits still apply, where the phrase "execution dependent" doesn't matter so much.


Hollywood has spent a lot of time and money making films that are at best mediocre and then hoping for marketing to save the day. We can blame a good movie for this very bad habit. "Jaws" ushered in the era of wide-release marketing-driven movies. It lasted for more than 30 years. A lot of bad films got made under the theory that quality didn't matter. But it's not working like it used to.

Here's why: fooling the audience is getting harder for the major studios in the age of blackberries, instant messaging and cell phone texting. Good buzz spreads quickly, bad buzz even faster.

A tentpole movie has to be truly atrocious to be victimized by this. But for any movie smaller than a tentpole, the bar has been raised. Good isn't good enough anymore. It used to be that a film with a nice performance, a cool look and a broken story could get through. Not any more. Unless you're making a tentpole, your movie now has to be very good--in the eye of its intended audience.

I may have liked "Juno" and "The Bourne Identity." My female colleagues loved "Sex in the City." And there was a big, happy audience for the last "Halloween" movie. In each case, the intended audience got what it wanted: a movie that satisfied them.

We're entering an era where the only films with any chance for success will be the $100 million-plus tentpoles, and reasonably priced films of some perceived quality.

I've had far too many fight-the-power wannabe filmmakers cheer this vision of the future, which they believe will usher out the bloated, soul-less big studio retreads and usher in a new democratic era of access to moviemaking fame and glory for all.

Lots of people are drinking this Kool-Aid. Fifteen years ago, the Sundance Film Festival got 500 submissions. This year, they received 5,000. Virtually all of these are privately financed. There's only one problem: most of the films are flat-out awful (trust me, I have had to sit through tons of them over the years). Let me put it another way: the digital revolution is here, and boy does it suck.

It's not enough to have access to the moviemaking process. Talent matters more. Quality of emotional content is what matters, period. In a world with too many choices, companies are finally realizing they can't risk the marketing money on most movies.

Here's how bad the odds are: of the 5000 films submitted to Sundance each year-- generally with budgets under $10 million--maybe 100 of them got a US theatrical release three years ago. And it used to be that 20 of those would make money. Now maybe five do. That's one-tenth of one percent.

Put another way, if you decide to make a movie budgeted under $10 million on your own tomorrow, you have a 99.9% chance of failure.

OK, so now that I've battered you into severe depression, let's move on to the hopeful part of these proceedings.

The famed film editor Walter Murch (of "Apocalypse Now" and "English Patient" renown) likes to say there are only two important elements of any movie: the beginning and the ending. And the beginning isn't really all that important.

With that in mind, I promise, by the end of this talk, you won't want to slit your wrists. There actually are some hopeful signs amid all the carnage.

Those terrible odds for movies under $10 million? Ironically, they get far better if you spend more money. All the financial data I've looked at--and it's a lot--clearly shows that the sweet spot is between $15 and $50 million. But that has a lot to do with being able to pay professionals who know what they're doing to create quality emotional content that has a market. And it has a fair amount to do with the prices that international distributors can afford to pay in the top 12 countries, which is what gives financiers enough comfort to commit capital.

I can hear my nauseous director friend now: "So what are you saying: should we all just quit?"

Not at all.

I'm saying we have to do better. Much better.

The sky may be falling, but in the end, it isn't going to hit the ground. We will be left with a little breathing room. And the question will become: what will succeed in this much narrower space?

I believe that a fair number of people--call them what's left of the theatrical audience if you like--will always need to get out of the house: in part because they enjoy the benefits of a communal experience.

Clearly, only the better films will succeed in the theaters of the future. Certainly the number of releases will drop--by half or more. Probably everyone other than the folks who work on tentpoles will be paid less. The words "theatrical necessity" will take on greater and greater meaning. Probably a lot of theaters will close. But I think the best theaters showing the best films will always have an audience. And the rest of the films will have their premiere in Walmart, or on your cell phone.

Interestingly enough, in this Darwinian new future, there will absolutely be a premium for good films on tv, pay per view, on-demand, internet--or whatever that large pipe that goes to all of our houses will be called.

Why do I know this? Because one of the big research companies conducted a study recently which gave viewers on-demand everything. No more schedules. No more appointment television. Just tune in anything--any movie, any TV show--at any time. And guess what: the best stuff won out. Hands down.

In a nutshell, the audience is sick & tired of the atrocious but all too familiar version of television on a schedule: 500 channels to choose from, and nothing to watch.

Some of this is purely a function of demography. There actually is a growing audience for quality.

*It's not hard to figure out why: the baby boom is aging. And as they do, their tastes mature. But they don't behave like their parents at the same age. They are smarter, more active, have more disposable income. And because of pay cable, home video and DVD in particular, they've become much more movie literate-- and more sophisticated in their tastes.

*Traditionally specialized films accounted for 5-6% of tickets sold. In the last few summers, it's been over 10% on average. And that's the season when Hollywood is supposed to dominate and indies are supposed to cower in the corners, waiting for the arrival of fall.

*And to back that up, for the first time in the roughly 20 years I've been looking at this data, more than 10% of the audience now is telling pollsters they prefer independent films.

We also know there's an opening for quality based on data from the good folks at Netflix. Yes, they rent plenty of tentpole movie dvds, just like everyone else. But they also have the most accurate collaborative filtering technology I've seen. Type in 50 movies you like, and Netflix will tell you--with remarkable accuracy--what other films you will like.

This is how a relatively obscure film from 1974 became the most popular picture among Netflix's six million subscribers: because it's really good. The movie, by the way, is "The Conversation."

I keep telling the Netflix people they should start sampling audiences on Friday nights outside movie theaters, so we'll all know by Saturday if people whose taste we share like a movie. But of course they're probably rightly worried about their biggest suppliers, the major studios, who are terrified that the audience will find out even sooner just how bad "Speed Racer" is. Yeah, like we couldn't tell just from being forced to watch the trailer.

The result of all these changes--especially the catalyzing effect of lower costs and high technology--is very good news for people who care about the quality of cinema, singularity of voice, resonant themes, and all the other things that today can rarely be found outside independent film.

It all comes down to what a former glove merchant named Schmuel Gelbfisz said more than 50 years ago: "Make Fewer Better." This isn't by any means the most famous Goldwyn-ism. In fact it isn't even on most of the lists alongside such classics as: "An oral contract isn't worth the paper it's written on"; "A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad"; and "Don't pay any attention to the critics. Don't even ignore them!"

But for my taste, "Make fewer better" is the one Goldwyn-ism that should never go out of style.

If we give the audience fewer and better movies, we might even create a virtuous cycle. People might start saying: "Hey, the movies are good again." They'll start going more often, tell their friends...you get the idea.

So how do we get to "Fewer and Better"?

The studios have already done it. Disney once released 47 movies in a year. This year: the number will be 12. Warner went from 35 to 20 in less than 10 years. The rest of the majors have also slimmed down.

Now of course anybody can reduce budgets and the number of films they make. That part is easy. The hard part is quality of content--or, well, taste. How the hell do you improve that?

The cynic's view--encapsulated in the famous dictum of Oscar-winning screenwriter William Goldman--is: "Nobody knows anything."

Meaning: Nobody knows what will work. It's hopeless to try to inflict taste on the movies. Give up immediately. If that were entirely true, we should just shut down the business right now.

But of course this isn't entirely the case. There are changes we can undertake that will make a difference. Odds are that most of show business won't make these changes until they're in serious danger of going under--which is ...any day now. Anyone who changes sooner will have an enormous advantage.

The single biggest change should be to only make movies that we absolutely love. Not ones we like. Not ones we need to do as a favor. Not the ones we do because they seem like a good "piece of business." Not ones we do because we think, hope or wish that "the kids" will like them. Not the knock-offs of the ones that worked at the box office last year. In a word, we should only pick the films we're passionate about--and that have an audience.

Another way of articulating this is: we need to thread the needle twice: once for quality, and then for audience demand.

Let's talk about quality first.

As simple as it sounds, it all comes down to a good story, well told. And that's a lot harder to do than it is to say. But not as hard as Hollywood would have you believe now--in an era where until very recently aiming high was considered an effete eccentricity. Or where, as the New York Times recently put it, "quality is considered a genre."

It's a show business cliche that "it all starts with the script." This is usually uttered by some semi-literate, mouth-breathing, prada-wearing, 24-year-old hipster poseur who wouldn't know a good story if it hit him in the head.

We could spend an hour or two just on the topic of what makes a good script. But not today.

In the most reductionist fashion: tere's the holy trinity of structure, character and dialogue, of course; the crucial if more ephemeral notions of authenticity, voice, theme, and tone; and the imperative for originality of utterance and perception.

In the end, all of this has to add up (seamlessly if possible) to something that moves us-- to the quality of the emotional content. It doesn't matter if we're talking about thrills, laughs, tears, or an adrenaline rush. What matters is that we are engaged and, ideally, emotionally transformed and satisfied.

In a world increasingly dominated by numbers--financial, technological and most importantly the finite number of hours in a day, our very human desire for contact, meaning and emotional transformation isn't going away. It's growing. Those who remember that will survive and most probably win.

By the way, notwithstanding my 10-year-old son Jack's question: "Dad, why do movies suck so much?" our quality control isn't as bad as it could be, and this has enormous implications for our not following the music business down the toilet.

Here's why: when the music business went from tape to digital, they nearly doubled the wholesale price of an album, and proceeded to pump out albums that have very few good songs. Like one or none.

When the movie business went from tape to digital, we dropped the wholesale price per unit from $65 to $10. And everyone said: "Oh my god, they're killing the business. Our profit margins are ruined." Well, the margin was smaller, but sales exploded. The studios made tens of billions of dollars on the difference. And consumers mostly like what they're getting. So much so that movies are the second-highest rated consumer value for the money. Behind only chicken. Not so for albums, which are so far down the list you can't find them.

The next big change will be when we start shooting movies to mobile devices in a big way. The wholesale price will drop again--probably to $3 per unit. But we'll sell so many more of them that revenue will explode all over again. This has very favorable implications for getting past piracy problems that helped kill the music business: the charge for downloading a film will land on your phone bill. And the moviemakers can hold the phone companies accountable (whereas now internet providers duck and hide when we try to pursue them for what amounts to transfer of stolen goods).

So now you're probably wondering: if all this money is going to flood into Hollywood in a few years, why can't we get some of it for independent film and just keep on doing what we do? The answer, in a word, is marketing. Or, how do you get noticed in a world of endless possibilities?

And that brings us to the second crucial threading of the needle: for audience demand.

The first and most important thing to remember is that two-thirds of the tickets are sold outside the U.S. now. So if you're making a film that only appeals to Americans, start cutting your budget now. Or better yet, make one that the whole world can embrace.

This is mostly about subject matter. The rest of the world doesn't care about westerns or American sports movies. I've gone out of my way to tell people we won't make them. And yet, no matter how many times I say this, it still doesn't seem to stop some people with a passion to get their story told. Not too long ago, a producer called me up to tell me the true story, circa 1890, of cowboys and Indians in the Arizona territory who put down their weapons to play a friendly game of baseball. I offered to scalp him.

After you get past subject matter, the next most important factor is "who's it for." Women of all ages. Men under 25? The dating audience 18-34. Please don't tell me "everyone" unless you have a $100 million budget.

And then I like to think about the rest of the audience demand question in the way that we analyze titles. A good title should have many of the attributes that a movie needs to embody now:

*Succinct & Descriptive: the film has to lend itself to brief encapsulation. A high concept is no longer the thing that studio movies do and independent films shun. In this age of info overload, it's crucial for every picture to have this. Without it, your odds shoot through the floor.

*Distinctive: not the same story we've heard five times before; something that at least takes the cliche and twists it; not something we get too much of somewhere else in our lives (Exhibit A: Iraq movies; who wants to see more of that mess? We already get too much of it every day in the news media).

*Provocative: something that cuts through the clutter, stands out, gets attention; not "So then Phoebe sat by her mother's bedside, suffering in silence for eight weeks." Give us incident, conflict, excitement, ideally something that hits a cultural nerve.

*Memorable: this is essentially an accumulation of the other traits, or sometimes altogether separate. It's the avoidance of cotton candy. The possibility of resonance. Something sticky.

*Not too dark: these are very dark times, for audiences the world over. Audience enthusiasm for dark films is as low as I've ever seen it. There are a lot of reasons for this, of course. But the one I hear almost nobody articulating and everyone feeling is this: in the western industrialized world, wages haven't even remotely kept up with productivity demands, and that stresses us out.

Will some films get made that defy all of these conventions? Yes. Will a couple of them go on to achieve enormous success and acclaim? Probably. The romantic in all of us hopes for David to triumph over Goliath, for the visionary individual to beat the system.

Scratch a successful person in Hollywood, and they'll tell you about their movie that did this. I happen to have quite a few stories like this. The best is probably this: In its April 2005 issue, Premiere magazine famously intoned: "What was Mark Gill thinking when he paid $1 million for a French documentary about a bunch of penguins?" What I was thinking was very simple: "we can fix it, and it will be emotional." So we did. Yes, I did save that article. And yes, I am happy that the magazine subsequently went out of business.

Here's the problem with that brand of romanticism: the odds of it happening to any of us with any reliable frequency are extremely low--and getting much worse.

As some famous wag once said: "You can die of encouragement in Hollywood." I frankly don't want to be responsible for your death.

Instead, let's just tell the truth...

If you want to survive in this brutal climate, you're going to have to work a lot harder, be a lot smarter, know a lot more, move a lot faster, sell a lot better, pay attention to the data, be a little nicer (ok, a lot nicer), trust your gut, read everything and never, ever give up.

If you're looking for a cool lifestyle, you're in the wrong business. If you want work-life balance, go get a government job.

But if you really want to make movies--even after all the unvarnished bad news I've dumped on you today--then by all means do it.


For starters, by whatever legal and moral means necessary, come up with a great script. How will you know if you have one? That's easy. It's the day you stop chasing talent. Because everybody--from the directors to the actors to the editors and costume designers--starts chasing you, and will show up and make the film for a little--or a lot-- less.

And if we do it for less, we can afford to make something that's not a moronic, homogenized piece of lowest-common-denominator drivel.

If we get all of that right, the sky might fall further than we like, but it won't hit the ground.

And the independent film business--leaner, harder-working, but still wearing black and drinking too much caffeine--will indeed survive.

Thank you very much.

The Picture

This is the picture that is now on my desktop (read the post below for more information)

So Long, Old Friend

This whole thing with the badly battered Buick has been sticking to my soul. I couldn't scrape it off to save my life. I was worried about how Fran would get to work now, how we'd get groceries, how I was supposed to make my church meeting on Thursday, how we were going to make it to Santa Barbara for our lovely free getaway that Frannie won by being the top sales rep this past month, and how we'd afford a new one. I was worried that these worries would distract me from my job, which is demanding enough to require 100% of my attention. 95% simply isn't good enough.

My heart pounded as I turned on my computer, warning me of the impending doom that surely awaited. But as soon as I entered my password and logged on, the pounding ceased, and the sick sticky sensation melted and evaporated into thin air.

How did this happen?

Last Friday, I had downloaded Katie's picture of all the grandkids on the steps of the Bailey abode at Willow Bend and set it as the "wallpaper" on my desktop. Their smiles, tiny toes, and gleaming eyes appeared on my monitor as soon as the password cleared, and completely set my mind and heart at ease.

After all, what's the worth of a '97 Buick when compared to children's smiles, tiny toes, and gleaming eyes (although I must say, 'Ol Blue was as a true a friend to man as any car I've ever known...)?

A Father's Contemplation

Sunday morning.

I took a walk this week with Jackson on my shoulders. I held his legs with my hands and he held onto my hair. Thirty years ago I did the same with Brian. We walked from our little apartment in married student housing to Buttreys, where I purchased him a Matchbox car to play with. Then we walked home. I held his legs and he held onto my hair. Thirty years goes by so quickly. The next thirty will see the end of my days here. And you will all be raising children and grandchildren of your own, maybe walking with them on your shoulders.

Yesterday evening, Marc, Bri'e, Aubrey and I watched "Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium." I highly recommend it! Aubrey snuggled on my shoulder and whispered, "I love you, Papa." I cannot express what those words from that perfect little heart meant to me. Nor can I tell you how I felt carrying Jackson on my shoulders. Someday, you will all understand.

In the meantime, it is a lovely Sunday morning. And despite all that life has done to separate us, eternal covenants bind us together. I am so thankful for that this morning.

I love you all. Dad.

Kirby Heyborne Drinks a Beer

And actually, he never drank one. He never even put the bottle to his lips. In fact, you can barely tell that he grabbed the bottle in the commercial. And yet 1000's of folks in Utah have come out in droves against him, condemning him to hell - one person shot him an email that said, "If my kid starts drinking, it'll be on your head."

Kirby is pretty upset by it. He didn't WANT to do this commercial, but he felt like it was a great opportunity (maybe even a blessing) to feed his family for 6 months. He's been struggling to find acting jobs the past year, especially with the WGA strike and now the debacle with AFTRA and SAG. And Miller Lite came along with a nice little offer to do a commercial. He prayed about it, felt good about it, and did it.

And like I said, there was a backlash. But there's also been a lot of support. The following article is one that Kirby sent me, published in the Mormon Times:



Heyborne in the Age of Purity
By Orson Scott Card
Published: Thursday, Jun. 19, 2008

I am so thrilled to be alive during this new Golden Age of righteousness and purity in the Mormon Church.

I wrote an essay a few weeks ago about how we all had to find our own place to draw the line between what the world asks of us and what we believe is consistent with being a good Latter-day Saint.

After all, the world has all the money and bestows it according to its own corrupt rules. Yet we must support ourselves and our families, and try to get in a position to make the world a better place.

So I figured we had to make some accommodation with the world, while trying to maintain righteousness and spirituality in our lives.

But now I see that I was wrong.

I've learned my lesson from what happened to Kirby Heyborne.

I had a chance to direct him in a play a few years ago and found him to be extraordinarily talented, disciplined, reliable and generous, both as an actor and as a man.

I was glad to think of him representing the church and gospel on movie sets throughout Hollywood.

But then he faced the temptation to work in a beer commercial. Enough pay for his family to live for half a year. A chance to be seen by Hollywood bigwigs. Not actually drinking beer or even pretending to drink beer. Fully clothed.

Me, I would have thought only a crazy man would turn that down. Apparently, he thought so, too.

But from the storm of condemnation Kirby has had dumped on him, I realize now that the church is far more pure than I had supposed. Good Mormons don't make such compromises!

We are in a golden age of righteousness!

That is why Mormons are resigning from any advertising agency that handles alcohol advertising, or creates ads that use seductive models or that entice people to spend beyond their means.

Mormons who work at TV and radio stations and for networks that accept advertising that in any way violates church standards are also quitting their jobs.

The Marriotts are ceasing to serve alcoholic beverages in their hotels; their own wine label is being shut down, and the current stock is being destroyed.

Mormons who own or work for convenience stores and restaurants and airports and broadcasters and, in short, any business that requires any employee to work on the Sabbath are now going to resign.

Not only that, but Mormons who teach at universities where atheism and anti-religious beliefs are taught by anyone are resigning their positions rather than lend their support, by implication, to such anti-Christian activities.

Mormons in government office, elective or appointive or merely hired, will all resign in protest whenever their branch of government passes a law or enforces a policy that is contrary to the teachings of the gospel.

In California, every Mormon in state government is writing a letter of resignation right now, rather than be part of a government that has, by judicial fiat, corrupted the meaning of marriage.

And no Mormon will remain in office in any state that runs a lottery or has legalized gambling.

Mormon lawyers will cease to represent any client whose actions might not have been righteous at all times.

Mormon businessmen will refuse to buy from suppliers or sell to customers or work in partnership with anyone who does not conduct their business according to the principles outlined in the Doctrine and Covenants -- which includes management according to Section 121 and accounting by the Law of Consecration.

Mormon writers will now refuse to depict or mention any act of violence or other sin of any kind. We will show only good people doing good, in a world of perfect goodness, where nothing thwarts or distracts people in their pursuit of righteousness.

Furthermore, the Bible, Book of Mormon and Pearl of Great Price are being revised to eliminate all reference to sin, making the scriptures so brief that now we can expect Primary children to memorize them in their entirety.

And, above all, because of Kirby Heyborne's tragically bad example, all Mormon actors will refuse to play any role where someone does something bad.

No Mormon will play Goneril or Regan or Edmund in King Lear, or Macbeth, or Othello, or Iago; the current temple films are being withdrawn, so that the character of Satan can be eliminated, lest some actor be required to portray him.

The temple ceremony will also be vastly shortened, since Adam and Eve now remain in the Garden forever.

In all this new purity in the church, there is no redemption for Kirby Heyborne. Despite his years of being the only thing worth watching in Mormon comedies, he not only helped sell Miller Lite to beer drinkers, but also, in his brilliant performance in "Saints and Soldiers," he played a character who smoked incessantly.

Yes, a lighted cigarette was in his mouth. There was no excuse for this. Plus, his character did and said things that weren't nice.

Never mind that in the story as a whole, the cigarette was a pivotal symbol used for profound moral teaching. Kirby, how could you?

You should have played only Glinda the Good Witch -- oh, wait, that would be cross-dressing.

OK, you should have waited for the chance to play Peter in a film about the life of Christ, and -- oh, wait, he denies Christ three times, and young Mormons might follow your example.

No, Kirby, you are forever condemned. Meanwhile, the rest of us, who are all living lives of perfect purity, are looking for manna from heaven so we can feed our children, since we will certainly not get any money from the world.

I don't mean to be sarcastic here, but ... Oh, wait. Yes I do.

Actors portray characters who do things that the actors themselves would not do. They take part in films in which there are scenes that don't meet church standards. The audience is supposed to understand that the actor did not actually do those things. That's why actors are not prosecuted for murder after playing Macbeth.

That is why actors playing characters in commercials are not considered to be endorsing the product being sold.

Mormon actors do exercise their own judgment and refuse to take part in productions that require them to violate their personal standards. A naked actor is as naked as the character. But that's a private decision, even if theirs is a public art.

Likewise, to the Mormon lady who wrote to me that she was sure I must not have been a Mormon when I wrote "Ender's Game," because of the "graphic violence" in the book: I was a Mormon then, and am a Mormon now, and would hand that book to the Savior if the occasion arose, because I'm proud of the complex moral reasoning in that story. I believe that those who read it with understanding are changed for the better by the experience.

Will anyone be changed for the better by Kirby Heyborne's appearance in a beer ad?

I doubt it. But because his career as an actor has been prolonged by another half year, he may be available to play a life-changing role when it comes along. Meanwhile, he has done no harm to anyone.

I just have one question. Now that I've resolved to write only pure books, how long will my family go hungry before the manna starts showing up in the morning?


Orson Scott Card is a writer of nonfiction and fiction, from LDS works to popular fiction. "In the Village" appears Thursdays in the Deseret News.


MormonTimes.com is produced by the Deseret News in Salt Lake City, Utah.
It is not an official publication of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Email Exchange with Actor, Beth Grant (No Country for Old Men, Factory Girl, Flags of our Fathers)

Thanks Doug! And Julia tells me that I’m also getting to go in on “Dexter.” You are the man!! Can’t wait to read that one, she sounds like fun. You’re keeping me out of trouble for the next few days!!

Love Beth

How great you were a missionary. What religion? They are so poor over there. My best friend is Slavakian and I have seen their home movies and the people are so sweet. They are Bysantine (Catholic), as was Andy Warhol. A lot of people thought he was Polish but that is not true. What a switch to show business, huh? But to tell you the truth I find show business to be a way to be of service and it certainly makes me keep spiritually fit....or I’m in trouble!!

xxoo



Beth,

I completely agree. There's so much good that we can do through film - so many people to potentially inspire and uplift and teach, and even entertain!

And that's what we tried to do in Ukraine. I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon, as we're commonly known), and we did a lot of service projects in orphanages and schools for disabled or troubled teens. You're right, the vast majority of the people are extremely poor, and they really appreciated our help.

Most of the people are Russian Orthodox, but there are still many atheists from the 70 years of Communist domination. Luckily, there were many faithful mothers and grandmothers who kept the faith secretly and preserved Christianity for their children and grandchildren. Most of those children and grandchildren are still firm in their faith, and there were a few who didn't much appreciate the whole Mormon thing OR the American thing for that matter. But the hospitality and warm hearts of others (once you made it past the cold, tough exterior) made it all worth it. They are very sweet once you get to know them, and extremely generous despite having nothing.

I learned a lot from them!

Anyway, have fun preparing for your auditions.

Here's to providing uplifting and inspiring service in show business!

Best,
Doug

Douglas Bailey
Assistant to Michael Greenwald
Don Buchwald & Associates
323.602.2319
dbailey@buchwald.com

The Twirlie Girlie Gang

A LETTER FROM JENNIFER TO HER FATHER AND THE REST OF US (AN UPDATE ON THE TWIRLIE GIRLIE GANG):

Hi, Dad. Sorry it has been so long since I have emailed you. Keeping in contant with people is one of my huge weaknesses and downfalls. I am trying to improve:)

How are you doing? how is your eyesight? What projects have you been working on? We all sure miss you and hope to see you this summer. We have had a few unforseen expences but are still hoping to come out. Our darn water-heater broke and I have brought in a few medical bills with this stupid sinus thing. I have another CT scan today and a doctor's appointment early next week. Hopefully the news is good.

Brian has his last day with the seniors today and is excited for the extra time the next 2 weeks. Since they are on a block schedule and one of his days only consists of seniors.... He has been running a stake basketball league over the last couple months and the big tournament is coming up next weekend. He has been having a blast. He also went to Delaware for the national mock trial tournament and his kids did amazingly well. He didn't want to go and moaned for weeks, but he enjoyed every minute there. He is even considering coaching the team again next year. He has stared up the band again and their dad is paying for them to record another cd. He is, of course, very excited!

Katlyn and Kamryn are ready for the summer. All they can seem to think about is friends and playing. They are kids after all:) They both just finished up their soccer seasons and are two very different players. Katlyn is hesitant and afraid to touch people. Kamryn, on the other hand, is a little to competetive. We had to talk to her about team work. She averaged 5 goals a game. One game was 10. She has no fear. They both are still jump roping and that seems to be where Katlyn shines. She was so excited to perform at the govenor's mansion and spend the day teaching at the health fair that she was up at 5:30. I had to send her back to bed, and when I went down to get her up she was still fully clothed (shoes and all). They both are really doing well in school and are too smart for their own good. In all these silly tests they are giving the kids, they both score above 12th grade vocabulary expectations and 9th grade reading expectations. Katlyn loves to read and write. She even asks if she can read instead of playing or doing other fun activies. Kamryn is bored with scholl, but soccer keeps her happy.

Brianne just registered for kindergarten and took the screening. She is so excited that she asks me evry morning if she is going to school yet. It is going to be a long summer:) We are not very sure how her little mind works. We are blind-sided quite often by her comments. We can't even wrap our brains around some of them. Dad is a having a little inner struggle seeing how Brianne informed him she has a boyfriend. He is the only boy in our neighborhood. She is quite adiment about their boyfriend/girlfriend status.

Aubrey is Aubrey. She will be the death of us. In just the last 2 weeks she has pulled the shandelier out of the ceiling, spilled nail polish on her carpet, locked the cat in a side table, put the cat in the dryer and put Rascal out in the middle of a tournado warning with hail coming down. This is just a few things. Eyes have to be on her every second! Sometimes she is very much her age and others she is a 2 year old again. We are treying very hard to give her the attention she needs and help her to be happy, but we are not quite sure what else to do. We are hoping with Bree in school all day next year that maybe things will improve.

Addison is the happiest chubbiest baby ever! Her sisters dote on her all day. She is very much a daddy's girl. She is so excited to see him and yelss Hi Dadd! She immediately starts laughing and kicking her legs or crawling as fast as she can to get to him. She can stand by herself and is walking on anything she hold on to. She loves the chairs at Nana's because they slide. She walks and pushes them all over the kitchen. She loves Rascal and they are each others constent companions. Even though she is only a little over 10 months, she is wearing 24 month clothes for her heighth and mostly weight :) She has her two bottom teeth and her top two will hopefully cut through soon. They are really swollen. Her favorite past-time, other than getting into everything, is taking a bath. Anytime she hears the water start to run she is at the tub climbing in. You have to wear a rain slicker to bathe her. She can splash with the best!

I am busy busy being Mom and really looking forwar to the summer. Next fall will be very busy again. LCCC has offered me a job as assistant director to the choir and will pay for the rest of my schooling on top of what they will pay me. I have 6 semester classes left to take and I can just take one or two at a time until I am done. I will only work 3 or 4 hours a week. I am really looking forward to the experience and am relieved that I will be going to school for free. I will be continueing my vocal training and will hopefully someday be able to become a professional vocalist. All just dreams, but exciting ones. For now I am loving being a mother and wouldn't have it any other way. They will all be in school all too soon.

Again, we love and miss you!

The Girly Twirly Gang



MY RESPONSE:

Jen!

What a great email!

Thank you so much for the update. It makes me so happy
to hear about the girlies, and about my eldest brother
and sister. You two have been such a great example to
us all - from your marriage in the temple to your
complete selflessness in raising FIVE girls (all of
whom are beautiful and wonderful in so many ways).
It's always been clear to Frannie and me that you love
each other and love the Lord, and even though I'm not
sure how it works, it gives us strength.

I'm excited for you to have at least a few hours a
week next semester to be "selfish" and continue to
pursue your dreams. Our family is full of dreamers,
and I've come to believe that whether or not we
achieve exactly what we dream for in this life, the
hard work we put in will not be in vain. There is
choir in Heaven! A basketball court (if we can control
our tempers)! A video camera!

And if we DO achieve those dreams in this life, well
then, what a bonus (on top of the wonderful family
we've been blessed with, our beautiful country, and
the Gospel)!

We love you and can't wait to see you all again in
August.

Love,
Fran and Doug

p.s. 'Ol Wendall is starting to really kick! If he
weren't stuck inside Frannie's belly, I'd say he's
been to a few of Kami's soccer games!

Maximus Dog

Dad's letter to all of us, after putting Max down (he had been suffering for quite some time due to cancer)

I think you all know the story. Sandy wouldn't let me have a dog. I had tried periodically through the years, but she wouldn't hear of it. "I don't need another child to clean up after," she would say. And that was that. Christmas 2002, Aaron had been wanting a dog, so I suggested he include that on his letter to Santa. Sandy couldn't reject a letter to Santa. Sandy sure wasn't too happy when she saw that letter, but what could she say? When I went to the place appointed by Santa to pick up Aaron's "golden" I found a garage full of beautiful, fluffy puppies. They all came toddling out to greet me. I decided, there's no way to choose, so I'm just going to take the first one who gets to me. And that was Max. It was love at first sight. The first place I went after picking up Santa's gift was Carey Junior High. Aaron was at 8th grade basketball practice. When I walked through the door and Aaron saw me, he left the floor and headed over to hold his soon to be best friend. Again, love at first sight. Through the years, all too few, Maximus has been a pure treasure. You all know how he saved mom from the "huge black dogs" who were about to knock her off her bike, how he jumped for joy whenever anyone came to visit, how he almost did back flips when Doug returned from the Ukraine and Marc from Germany and Aaron and Katie from school, how he and Rascal used to romp through the yard, wrestling and "fighting" and chasing each other, how he growled at the name of "John Kerry" and ate pancakes for breakfast and jumped up on the couch in the theater room when we'd let him . . . which was usually. Most of all you remember how much he loved everyone, and how everyone loved him. Even the FedEx lady knew Max by name! Today, when I told Susan Robinson, our neighbor, that Max was gone, she just sobbed. Between the sobs, she said, "Lee will be devastated." Why would someone react that way? Why mourn so the loss of a dog. Simple, Max wasn't just a dog. He was one of us. He could never be registered as a pure breed retriever, because his dad was killed before they finalized his paperwork. So we called Max our "mutt." He was just a regular "person," just like all the other Baileys - no pedigree - but with a heart as large as the world through which he roamed.

Bri asked if we'd get another dog. Right now the answer is, "No." I don't think Sandy would permit it. This time, not because she just doesn't want a dog, but because she would only be satisfied with Max. And there couldn't be another one like him.

I told him yesterday when I left him at the vet's office, "You've been a good friend, Max. We love you." Somehow, I think he understood what I was saying. At least he smiled when I said goodbye.

dad

Responses to Dad's letter:

I think most of you remember my old roomate, Shiloh,
who came and visited a few summers ago. Mom remembers
how we went out on the deck every morning to read his
Book of Mormon.

Well anyway, I thought I'd forward you all his
thoughts on the passing of Maximus Dog. As he says in
his email, he didn't spend much time with Max, but he
was certainly left with a strong impression.

Maxie Boy was good fellar, a true champion, even
though he never was quite coordinated enough to catch
a scrap of food in the air. He certainly more than
made up for that with his outstanding play in left
field (during backyard wiffle ball games), his John
Kerry trick, and most of all his loving heart. I never
met a more loving dog.

We'll all miss him, but you can bet your bottom dollar
he's in Heaven right now, playing with Pepsi, Buster,
Tiggie, Betsy, Sasha, Fred, and all the rest. And I
know he'll be there when our time comes.

See you at the crossroads, Max!

Shiloh Winder's response:

That's hard news Brother. I really felt Max would be with us for years to come. It's hard to imagine that he's gone.

I've never encountered a dog that had such a keen understanding of the people's world and his relationship to it.

Max had a great heart. I only spent a few days with him, but I felt a stronger connection to him than I ever thought I'd feel with an animal. I love my parent's Akita, but he's nothing like Max. The Shellback Ranch will miss him badly.

Send my condolences to Aaron and the whole family.

Jeff's Response:

We're all very sorry and sad about the loss of Max. Draya asked me
yesterday, "how are we going to tell Jackson that Max is gone?" His first
words in pulling up to Mom and Dad's house are always "hi Maxy" or
"Maxy, where are you?" Even with his allergies, Jackson couldn't stay
away from that lovable dog. One thing's for sure, when he's old enough to
understand and see the countless pics of himself and Max playing
together, he will smile. We will all smile.

love,
Jeff

CONSERVATISM

This was a response to Michael Quinn's post on MyFamily.com, calling out the conservatives in the family to articulate a political platform:

Ask and ye shall receive, Michael. I was going to let Jeffrey and
Thomas speak for me, but since you
called me out, I gotta sound off. They articulated some of my feelings on
some of the issues, but I’ll
elaborate a little further – perhaps provide you with a more concrete
political “platform.” Although, I must
warn you, the platform is based on IDEOLOGY (I could not disagree
more with your statement that
“ideology doesn’t really mean anything”). This ideology – the set of
beliefs in certain principles that are
eternal (inalienable, if you will) – guides everything true conservatives
say and do, no matter the
circumstance, no matter how much times have changed. And if people
would rely on these true
principles, many of our country’s problems would be alleviated, if not
completely eradicated.

To give one example, the solution to the so-called healthcare crisis
(which is almost as big a hoax as the
global warming hoax – oh wait, it’s now been changed to global “climate
change” now, since the whole
warming thing has started to cool down – no matter what the
temperature is, we can blame it on climate
change! which can’t possibly be caused by anything other than
humans) is not UNIVERSAL
HEALTHCARE provided by the government.

When Senator Clinton as First Lady advocated universal healthcare
coverage for all Americans, 560
economists wrote her husband to plead with him to put a stop to her
madness. They argued, based on
eternal free market principles, that “price controls produce shortages,
black markets, and reduced
quality.” So government instituted price controls don’t “control” the true
cost of goods at all. People end up
paying in other ways.

The answer to the “crisis” is not more government regulation, but more
privatization. The healthcare
system needs to be opened up to market forces. Healthcare services
would be based on market prices,
and healthcare providers would compete for patients. “Compete” is the
key word here; “competition,” the
eternal principle. With private health insurance, private medical practice,
and private healthcare
establishments, competition would drive costs down and enhance the
quality of the healthcare, and would
provide patients with a CHOICE between a much wider range of
services depending on their needs and
the quality of service required for that need.

In order to afford healthcare, a person will have to work for it, just as a
person has to work for food and
shelter, just as a person has to work to make a car payment, just as a
person has to work if he wants to
go the movies on the weekend. Thank God we live in a country where
we can work where we want to
work, be what we want to be, and earn what we want to earn. Of course
there are exceptions! People get
laid off, people are disabled, etc. And there’s nothing wrong with
providing subsidies for the people in
these circumstances. But the vast majority has the choice to make of
themselves whatever they want to
be.

This is a far cry from the liberal idea that everyone is a “victim” – of
racism or sexism or whatever other –
ism there is out there – and that salvation lies in the government. The
truth is, no matter the
circumstance, whether others have been blessed with more money,
better connections, a better home
environment, or even better looks, a person can succeed through hard
work, perseverance, and
education.

Which brings me to my next point: Education! And the solution for the
problem with the education system
is the same solution to the problem with the healthcare system:

EDUCATION – Take the government out!

Before the mid 1800s, elementary and secondary education was largely
parent financed. Today,
taxpayers spend more than $6,000 a year per student, more than
virtually any other country, including
Japan. With what result? Poor test scores, high dropout rates, kids
incapable of filling out employment
applications… The private sector ought to assume this responsibility.
Vouchers are a great way to take
us in that direction. Let schools compete for students, increasing the
quality of the teachers and paying
them what they deserve, and giving parents a choice as to where they
will send their children.

And sure, some schools and teachers will be better than others (as
they are now), but an individual’s
level of effort, dedication, curiosity, and willingness to grow will
determine what they learn.

I’m going on way longer than I initially planned. Let me just finish with a
couple more platform items (I’ll try
and be brief).

TAX CUTS – As JFK once said, after signing off on across-the-board
tax cuts in the 60’s, “It is a
paradoxical truth that tax rates are too high today and tax revenues are
too low — and the soundest way
to raise revenues in the long run is to cut rates now.” We pay an
obscene amount of taxes in this country.
The mere thought of the government taking more of that money to
spend on more inane programs and
useless committees makes me ill. A government that’s too big to
function without resorting to extortion is a government that’s too big.
Period.

The argument that the Bush tax cuts unfairly benefit the rich is
ridiculous. First of all, it’s insulting and
presumptuous to think that anyone’s entitled to that money but the
individual who EARNED it! That aside,
the statistics show that the top 1 percent of taxpayers – those making
more than $364,000 annually – pay
39 percent of all federal income taxes! Any across-the-board tax cut
would, by definition, “unfairly” benefit
the rich.

In order to cut the deficit, shrink the government! In order to increase
revenue, decrease taxes!

SHRINKING THE GOVERNMENT - Less than 2 percent of Americans
are farmers, yet the Department
of Agriculture continues to add more and more bureaucrats. And what in
tarnation does the Department of
Commerce do?! Do we need the Small Business Administration?
Amtrak? The Tennessee Valley
Authority????

Before 1950, the government largely stayed out of the housing
business, thank goodness. Now we have
housing projects in all of our major cities, and don’t just speak for the
City of Los Angeles, when I say that
they have become sewers of crime and drugs. Why? When everybody
owns something, NOBODY owns
it (a principle I learned while living in the former Soviet Union). Without
ownership, who’s going to take the
responsibility of upkeep and repairs? The government is an absentee
landlord and really couldn’t care
less about what happens in these projects.

The private sector can build housing more cheaply, with an INCENTIVE
to maintain the property and
screen tenants.

On top of getting rid of ridiculous government programs, we can shrink
the government by ending
welfare, entitlements, and other special privileges.

Welfare for the poor works out to a national average of $12,000 to
$13,000 a year per recipient. That’s
almost as much as Frannie and I made COMBINED last year! So why
even get a job when the
government shields you from financial responsibility? As detrimental as
welfare is for the economy and
hard-working citizens’ pocket books, it’s probably more detrimental to
the recipient in the long run. Do we
not remember the saying, “give a man a fish, you feed him for a day;
teach a man to fish, you feed him for
a lifetime?”

And don’t get me started on Social Security! The average recipient has
put in fifteen cents for every dollar
he or she takes out! How much more inefficient and unfair can it get?

Conservatives would simply like people take control of their own destiny
and earn whatever life they want
to live. Let the government worry about policing the streets, enforcing
the law, and keeping its citizens
safe from foreign enemies.

WAR ON TERRORISM – Al Qaida has been significantly weakened,
Sadaam Hussein is gone, there’s a
democracy in Iraq! and the surge is working. A withdrawal in Iraq would
create a staging ground for al-
Qaida, increase the influence of Iran over Iraq, and result in “the biggest
civil war we’ve ever seen,”
according to former Secretary of State Jim Baker of the Baker-Hamilton
Report.

The criticism President Bush gets for going to war in Iraq is unfair, and
seems to be a product of the
culture’s hateful obsession with the man, as opposed to something
founded on reason. All 16 intelligence
agencies felt with "high confidence" that Saddam Hussein possessed
stockpiles of WMDs (there’s far
more dissent among credible scientists about global warning than there
was among American intelligence
analysts about Iraq). And just because we didn’t find them when we got
there, doesn’t mean they didn’t
exist and doesn’t mean they still don’t exist! It just means we didn’t find
them. Perhaps it’s because we let
the bureaucracy take its sweet time in debating whether or not Sadaam
had the things, giving him ample
time to hide them away in a cave somewhere. Even if they never did
exist (even though the intelligence
claims otherwise), who’s to say we’re not safer now thanks to the fact
that Bush wasn’t afraid to take the
war to the enemy, rather than wait for another September 11?

And while I don’t much care for John McCain, I’m happy to hear that he
will not risk everything our
soldiers have fought and died for by pulling out early.

If you want to hear more on global warming, abortion, illegal immigration,
etc., let me know.

A Correspondence With an Old Friend

DRU FARRO:

I'm glad we're friends now [in reference to the social network "Facebook"]. I think often of you and Beast and have frequently wondered what you're doing and how your bid for an award from the Academy is going. I heard some indistinct whisperings about a successful story or script...I can't get any good news from home. As for me, I'm living in Montreal right now, and was just accepted to Columbia to study literature, so I'm staying up nights worrying about quitting my job, moving, financing, and whether I should start rooting for the Knicks. The orbits of my and Beast's life have for 4 years or so been unfortunately unsympathetic, but I have lately eclipsed him and vow (supergiant that he is) to become his satellite.
I'm sorry O.J. Mayo is in hot water.
I look forward to hearing from you.

DOUG BAILEY:

Farro!

I couldn't be happier that you accepted my friend request.

I am in LaLa Land with my beautiful wife, graduated from USC (I left before the water started boiling for OJ so I pretend it's not happening) in December, and am now an assistant to an insane talent agent. If you've ever seen ENTOURAGE, you'll know what I mean. It's a common step that people take to make connections and learn the industry - hopefully after about a year, I'll have learned and met enough people to myself my own agent so I can just sit at home and WRITE! I sold one of my scripts, but I don't get paid until it goes into production (which may never happen). It was a good experience though, and if it ever gets made, I can join the Writer's Guild.

I feel like I've talked to much about myself. I'd rather have talked about Beast and his adventures in Kazakhstan, or about the time we spent the night at Braxton Restivo's and played pogs all night, or about when we were playing basketball in my basement and you put a hole in the wall the size of your entire body, or about making mirrors in Boyd's garage...

Good times.

Sounds like good times are in your future too - or at least good opportunities. I'm sure you'll be alright, whatever you decide.

Let me know, brother.

Douglas

DRU FARRO:

've never seen ENTOURAGE, but I was recently in Los Angeles. I was there only briefly visiting a friend, but did go on a VERY long walk (from Silver Lake to the Pacific Ocean via Sunset Blvd.) It was kind of eerie, actually, walking 25 miles, being passed by thousands and thousands of cars while encountering only 2 other people on the sidewalks...
Thanks for updating me. I'm very excited for you and your prospects as a storyteller. Since my descension (or ascension...probably a little of both) into 'academia' (whatever that term is supposed to mean), I find that I have had little to no time free for creative writing, though I wonder about it constantly. I've often tried to guess at what has emerged from the seeds we planted in Diane Panazzo's classes...it would be a real joy and learning experience to sit down with you and Beast someday and talk books/films/art/basketball.
What's already clear to me is that your memory is vastly superior to mine. If it weren't for you I might've forgotten that hole! I can still feel my stomach drop, it's dropping right now.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to find a way to swing the Columbia offer financially. Before I arrived in Montreal my girlfriend and I took a cross-country tour visiting different universities we were planning on applying to and, sadly, New York was by far my least favorite place. Harlem, however, I liked WAY more than downtown. I stayed with a friend who is living in Harlem whose girlfriend goes to Columbia, so I am assuming that I, too, will likely live there, which I would greatly prefer to living anywhere else in the city. This year off, though, has made me hungry, and I imagine I want to think to the same degree you want to write (each of us doing plenty of the other in the process I'm sure).
I'll be sad to leave Montreal, though.
It's been great hearing back from you, Doug, and I hope you keep me posted on every development in your and Frannie's lives. I don't even know if this is legal, but if you've got a draft of your script I would love to read it. I've got a fantastically boring job at McGill University with plenty of time either to look at amazing tennis shots on youtube or reading Doug's movie scripts. If not, that's fine, of course. Let me know and the next time you talk to Beast tell him he owes me WAY more than a dinky (though tender) message on my Facebook wall...

DOUG BAILEY:

Dru,

It is indeed illegal for me to let you read the screenplay that I wrote (and yet don't own the rights to) for these producers. I do, however, have a couple of comedy/dramedies that I'm happy to send your way. I always respected your opinion when it came to literature, and while screenplays aren't exactly literature, I would appreciate any thoughts/feedback you might have.

And actually, I've been working on a little something that isn't a screenplay at all. I'm not really sure what it is - part memoir, part fantasy? I'm not sure. But it is the seeds planted in Panozzo's class that you speak of which have sprouted in me again. I was unemployed for about a month and half, and I decided to start doing something while I was doing nothing. So I picked up a pen again. Unfortunately, now that I have a job and am doing "something," I have no time to do the "nothing" I truly enjoy. Interesting how that works.

I guess it's all part of the curse of Adam. "By the sweat of thy brow shalt thou eat thy bread..."

Hopefully after a few years of these insane hours at the agency, I'll have earned the right to relax a little more, and have made the connections which will allow me to write for a living. We'll see.

In the meantime, I'll keep sweating, and getting up early in the morning to dabble a little here and there.

Keep me posted on Columbia, and I'll keep you posted of the happenings out here (it IS a strange land of cars and freeways - thank goodness there's also the beach and the ocean).

Peace,
Douglas

PS I'll send you an email with the screenplays "Pablo Mariachi" and "'Tis Himself," as well as the work-in-progress mentioned above. Enjoy, and let me know what you think.

PPS In keeping you posted, I guess I ought to mention that a little Bailey is on the way. Frannie's due in September.

Flipper

I went to the beach yesterday with Mr. Michael Van Vliet and a few of the members from the USC Ward - The Johnsons, Danforths, Andrew Whitesides, and a couple others. Whitesides brought a skim board he bought for his birthday, so we spent some time trying to figure out how to drop and jump and slide into the waves, but we were largely unsuccessful. Van Vliet was pretty good, having spent time on the beaches in Connecticut skim boarding. It's a little different in SoCal though, because there's a very small window of time for the drop, and it was especially difficult in Santa Monica, because the beach was pretty slanted. Anyway, after a few semi-successful attempts at the skim board, I decided to go out with Kyle and Evan to boogie board. The water was like ice, but the waves were decent, so I was happy to stay out there for a good half hour. Despite catching a few good and big ones, the highlight of the day was the school of dolphins that swam about 10 feet from us - back and forth. They seemed to be enjoying the sun and ocean as much as we were. It was pretty amazing to see them so close (and a little frightening as well), jumping out of the water, diving into the waves, bobbing and weaving like Chris Paul on the hardwood...

It was quite the sight! The beach, the ocean, the sun, waves, the dolphins...

For the beauty of the Earth!

The First American

I watched a special on the National Geographic channel yesterday while I was home for lunch. It was on the myth of the where the first Americans came from - the one we all grew up on: that the first Americans came over the Bering Strait, inhabited the land of America, were primitive and war-faring, etc., etc., etc. We've all heard that story. Well, as we read in the Book of Mormon, the story of this land's inhabitants is not so simple. There were many groups of peoples that came over at different epochs of the world's history - some of them became completely extinct. Others remained up until Columbus discovered this land, and remain to this day. The details of this theory have yet to be worked out, but according to National Geographic, the evidence supports the idea that there were indeed many peoples on this land who did indeed come from all over the globe - one people in particular who crossed the Atlantic ocean to get here in about the year 1000 B.C.! Skulls have been found on the continent that are in no way related to the skulls of American Indians, and weaponry has been discovered that suggests some peoples were completely wiped out by others.

Obviously, I'm not going to go into too great a detail here. Suffice it to say, it was comforting to watch that special yesterday - further evidence that the Book of Mormon is true and that Joseph Smith was a prophet. There's simply no way he could have concocted that story, which was completely contrary to the theories of that time, to have it coincide so perfectly in the light of new information today. The fact of the matter is, Joseph didn't write it. THE FIRST AMERICANS did! We can learn so much about their history by reading their words, and the scientists could have come up with this new theory much sooner if they would have read the Book. Not to mention what it could do for their souls...

Frannie

Monday is Frannie's day off from work, which means I have the privilege of coming home to her for lunch on Mondays! After five hours of pure intensity and insanity at Buchwald, it's amazing to come home to someone like Frannie, so relaxed and down-to-earth. Nothing can sooth my soul like a few minutes on the couch with Fran (despite the fact that our couch is a piece of trash).

Another incredible thing about today is that I'm home right now, and it's not past 9:00! I can't remember the last time I left work when the sun was still out. And that's exactly what happened today. Michael Greenwald has been out sick for the past few days, so the work load has severely decreased.

And again, the best thing about being home early is that I'll get to spend it with Frannie, who's on her way home from Target right now...

Remember

Today was ward conference in the Westwood 2nd Ward - our new family ward! Frannie and I have graduated from 'SC and Loyola Marymount, found jobs, and moved out here to the Hills of Beverly. No really. Our zip code is now 90211! There are yards and trees and parks and little homes and people walking with their babies and strollers...Absolutely 180 degrees from Downtown L.A., the concrete jungle...

In ward conference today, the question was posed "what is the most important word in the English dictionary?" Many answers were thrown out there, from "repentance" to "forgiveness," "family," "God." But according to Spencer W. Kimball, the most important word in the dictionary is "Remember." Remember, remember.

Remember the captivity of your fathers. Remember how merciful the Lord hath been in delivering our fathers from bondage. Remember...How many times are those words uttered in the Book of Mormon?

The words still apply today. I think that's why I started this BLOG. When you write something down, it's much easier to look back on it and remember it. It's so important to remember past blessings and trials - people get themselves into trouble or start to question things because they forget the covenants they have made, or they forget answers they have received in the past. That must be why the counsel has been given to keep a journal. Write down your daily blessings, write down the inspiration you receive...

It's been difficult to get in a rhythm of writing things down with my new job at Don Buchwald & Associates. Working from 9:00 to 9:00 Mon - Fri doesn't leave a whole lot of time for writing down blessings. But from here on out, I'm going to force myself to at least keep the beat. I need to write down the things the Lord does for me every day, so that I don't forget them. So that I will REMEMBER.

This particular post isn't all that thought out, and I apologize for the incoherence, but I just wanted to get this out there. As I said, time IS an issue. So while these next posts might not be the most eloquent, I hope they will be uplifting, encouraging, beneficial in some way...

To kick off the theme of remembrance, of writing down blessings and inspiration, I've had the opportunity to give Frannie two blessings since we've been married. The first was a blessing of health, after she had been experiencing some pretty severe back pains. It was to the point where she couldn't even lie down with any sense of comfort. Through the priesthood, I laid my hands on her head and pronounced that she would be healed according to her faith in Christ and His Atonement.

The next morning, she felt no pain.

The second blessing I gave her was just a few days ago. Fran is now pregnant with our first child, and we thought it would be wise to bless her with the health and strength she'll need for a smooth pregnancy. After blessing her with those things, I felt myself literally become an instrument through which the Lord spoke. The words coming from my mouth were His words. From that blessing, we both now know that our first boy will be a strength to Frannie. I don't exactly know how that will manifest itself in their lives, but it will.

Unfortunately, I don't remember many of the other details of that blessing, which speaks to the fact that these things really do need to be written down or we WILL forget them. Thankfully, some of it is now written down, which means it's going nowhere. I will now REMEMBER these blessings forever. And if I'm diligent about continuing to write, all of my blessings will be remembered...

The Great American Novel

and I'm just thinking about each of you.

I think when we plant a garden we hope for something beautiful that will last. The same is true when we write a poem or a song or draw a picture, or make an entry in our journal. The same holds true when we build a bookcase. A basketball game may seem insignificant, even trivial, but it isn't to the players. I think they too hope they are doing something that others will see and remember, something that will linger beyond the game.

When we sing or write or create anything outside ourselves, it is still a creation that began within and which we hope will endure. I don't think it's the poem or the song or the bookcase, the drawing or the game, that matter so much as it is the thing which drives them - the thought, the dream, the vision, the belief, the spirit. I think maybe, regardless of the activity or the creation, there is a common theme or thread that runs through all of these. I think it might be the "eternal" in each of us, reaching out for the Eternal, for God - a longing for Home. I think it might be a "returning." As Wordsworth said, "But trailing clouds of glory do we come from Heaven, which is our home." Or some such. I don't know.

But here's my thought for the day. There was a time in my own life when I dreamed of writing the "great American novel." How many have dreamed of that! And I spent hours upon hours, usually the "wee hours" of the morning, pursuing that dream. I wrote lots of words! Sent out lots of manuscripts to agents and publishers. Got lots of rejections! And then one day, it hit me. I had already written that novel! It just wasn't in any of my manuscriptes. It was written in and through each of you, and by all of us together, and the chapters continue to unfold. I don't know how old I was when this truth dawned on me, certainly it was before Elder Bednar articulated it, but it really is true that the greatest and most lasting work any of us will do in this life will be in the Priesthood and the Gospel and with our families. And the most amazing thing happens when we come to that realization. Suddenly, we find our yearning to make a lasting contribution, to do something that really matters, to make a mark on the world, to reach the Eternal, is satisfied in a most remarkable way. We understand at last and peace follows.

To each of you who dreams large dreams, as Thoreau said, move confidently in the direction of them. But remember always, that your most important dream and the dream that can and will come true and the one that will satisfy that longing more than any other is the dream of eternal life with your family. Every movement you make in the direction of THAT dream, will bring you peace and joy and love and a richness of soul that cannot be found in any other way. And you will wake up one day, like me, and know that nothing else ever really mattered that much. And you will be happy.

love to all

papa

Wendall Udele

Elder Bailey,

So, after having read Mother's letter for this week, I guess you know the NEWS. I hadn't planned on keeping it secret from you, as some had conspired to do to me when I was on my mission. But then again, I hadn't planned on telling you either. I was just waiting for the right time I guess. And now the time is right, since Mommy made it right. Frannie is "prego," as they say out here in Cali. I've been looking at the ultrasound pictures all week. It's amazing how clear those things are nowadays. There's no question a living, breathing human being is growing inside Fran's belly. He's got long legs and big feet already - undoubtedly a Bailey.

It makes the stress and demands of work go right out the window, looking at those pictures...

And it makes the events of this past week seem insignificant - Mr. T coming in and blessing us all with his presence and his "god bless you's," meeting Juliette Lewis and signing her as a new client, witnessing Michael Greenwald (my boss) and Julia Buchwald (another agent) go at it like only agents can over a "mistake" that Julia claimed I made on an appointment (I'll have to tell that story in person), and the Palestinian rally, which was held just outside our office, which made me feel like I was walking down the Gaza strip when I went to lunch. All that stuff sort of just blurs into the background when it's held up against the pictures of little Wendall Udele, kickin' it in his mommy's tummy.

I'm excited to meet the new squeaky too, and excited for Nana and Papa to make their second trip out here (speaking of, you guys SHOULD have come to Disneyland! Don't ever make the mistake of not coming to Disneyland again).

Anyway, we're all excited to see you again, Hindu, and are proud of all your hard work in Jamrock. Make these last two weeks your best, and you won't have any regrets about coming home.

Love,
Douglas